Dealing with a narcissistic coworker? Here’s how to survive

Do you have a coworker who constantly seeks the spotlight, dominates discussions, or takes credit for the team’s achievements? Navigating narcissistic personalities in the workplace can be daunting, especially when these behaviors undermine team morale and productivity. Recognizing the early warning signs and knowing how to respond can make a world of difference.

As we learn more about these personality traits, we’re getting better at spotting and managing toxic dynamics in the workplace. The good news? We’re becoming quicker at recognizing these behaviors. The bad news? Many of us still find it tough to set boundaries, especially when workplace power dynamics make things even trickier.

Studies indicate that 5 percent of the US population is narcissistic, and approximately 18 percent of CEOs may be considered narcissists. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, your efforts are being ignored, or your boundaries are constantly crossed, it may be time to seek support or professional guidance, as things can escalate quickly. The most important step is to recognize the early signs, know how to respond, and minimize the impact on your mental health and stability.

From charm to harm in the workplace

According to a report from SHRM, toxic workplace environments contribute to over $223 billion in turnover costs for businesses in the US, highlighting the tangible costs of unchecked toxic behaviors like narcissism.

Recognizing true narcissistic behavior, especially in the workplace, can be challenging. To clarify what sets narcissism apart from confidence, we spoke with Nick Seybert, associate professor at the University of Maryland Seybert’s work has been published in top journals and featured in media outlets like The New York Times,Fast Company, and The Washington Post. His research explores how personality traits such as narcissism influence decision-making in corporate environments.

Seybert explains how narcissists typically crave admiration, control conversations, and exploit others to maintain their inflated self-image. “Confident people present their ideas assertively and may even come off as egotistical at times,” he says “However, narcissism exists on a spectrum, ranging from low to very high levels. As narcissism increases, the behavior becomes more distinct from mere confidence.”

According to Seybert, narcissists tend to dominate conversations, even when discussing trivial matters. “If you’re talking about weekend plans, the narcissist will steer the conversation back to themselves, making it difficult for others to participate,” he notes. Another common sign is an insatiable need for admiration. “A self-confident person doesn’t need to be validated all the time, but a narcissist is always looking for positive feedback to reinforce their inflated sense of self-worth.”

Seybert also points out that narcissists are often manipulative and exploitative, unlike confident individuals. “A self-confident person will work well with others, but a narcissist may betray or undermine colleagues to maintain their superiority,” he explains.

Narcissism is not a one-size-fits-all personality trait. Seybert highlighted that there are multiple dimensions of narcissism, such as self-sufficiency, authoritativeness, and exhibitionism. “Some narcissists may be more focused on being admired for their appearance, while others may be obsessed with having authority over others,” Seybert says. “Someone might be high in one dimension but not another.” It seems that their main goal is to be the center of attention no matter what.

How to spot a narcissist before their behavior causes harm

Seybert notes that one of the most telling signs is a lack of empathy. “Narcissists often don’t show much concern for other people’s feelings. They seem indifferent to the struggles or emotions of those around them,” he says. This lack of empathy can be a strong indicator that someone has narcissistic tendencies, especially in extreme cases where they exploit or manipulate others.

In the workplace, narcissists can be particularly dangerous because they are adept at hiding their true nature, at least initially. “Narcissists are skilled at convincing people they have abilities they don’t actually possess,” Seybert explains. “It can take months or even years for people to realize they’ve been fooled, and by then, the damage has been done.” Beneath their inflated self-image, many narcissists harbor deep insecurities. Seybert notes, “They need constant praise to maintain their self-esteem, fearing they aren’t as great as they claim to be.” This insecurity drives them to behave in extreme ways, such as overrating their abilities and seeking nonstop attention to reinforce their self-worth.

According to Seybert, individuals in lower-ranking positions are particularly vulnerable to narcissists in the workplace. “The greater the power imbalance, the easier it is for narcissists to exploit others,” he says. “Interns and junior employees are eager to please, making them easy targets for manipulation and overwork.”

Workplace bullying is a serious issue in the US According to the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) around 2 millions of American workers experience workplace violence every year. This impacts 49% of the population directly or indirectly.

4 tips for dealing with toxic traits in the workplace

Knowing how to navigate these environments can help you not only identify toxic behaviors early on, but also implement key strategies to protect your well-being and maintain your sanity in the workplace. Here are some practical tips to help you overcome these difficult situations:

1. Set clear boundaries early

Seybert emphasizes the value of setting firm boundaries, especially when narcissistic managers or coworkers push beyond your job expectations. “A narcissistic manager might say, ‘You need to work this weekend,’ even if your contract says 40 hours a week. If you start doing what they ask, they’ll continue to take advantage of you,” he warns. Make it clear from the start that you won’t go beyond what’s required, and consistently reinforce that boundary.

2. Document everything

Documentation is crucial when dealing with narcissists, who often manipulate or distort events to serve their interests. “Get as many things in writing as you can,” Seybert advises. Emails, task updates, and project decisions can provide invaluable protection if a narcissistic coworker attempts to shift blame or alter facts

3. Be cautious about what you share

Seybert suggests being careful about sharing personal information with narcissists, as they may use it against you. “At some point, the narcissist could use it against you, for sure,” he explains. Keep conversations strictly professional and avoid giving them any personal details they could exploit.

4. Stand firm, but diplomatically

While standing your ground is essential to Seybert advises against direct confrontations with narcissists, as they can quickly escalate. “You don’t want to say, ‘Get away from me, you’re a bad narcissist,’ because that would just create more problems,” he notes. Instead, maintain your stance calmly and professionally to prevent conflict while protecting your interests.

Key takeaways: Working with a narcissist

Dealing with narcissistic personalities in the workplace can be challenging, but understanding and recognizing these behaviors early on can help. Here are some essential points to remember:

• Recognize the traits early: Narcissistic behavior can sometimes be hard to distinguish from confidence. Look for red flags like a lack of empathy, an inflated sense of self, and a tendency to dominate conversations or take credit for others’ work.
• Protect your professional boundaries: Set clear limits to prevent overreach and ensure you’re not taken advantage of, especially when working under a power imbalance. This will help you manage interactions more effectively.
• Use professional distance to your advantage: Document interactions when necessary and avoid oversharing personal details, as this can help you stay focused and reduce potential conflict.

Managing difficult personalities at work is never easy, but by equipping yourself with these tools, you can maintain your well-being and productivity.

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