Exit interviews: needed closure or a burden on employees?

It’s almost over. The finish line is in sight. You are leaving the company for a new role, a new company, maybe even a new country. Then, just as you are shaking off the last shackles, your employer has one final request: an exit interview. You are asked to meet with human resources and have a heart-to-heart – while they take notes.

Exit interviews are a standard tool in many organizations, used primarily to gather employee feedback before they leave. However, these interviews carry a significant psychological dimension, especially when discussing negative experiences. The temptation is to tell the company that your boss is an overbearing idiot who never trusted you to get on with the job. But deep down, you know that might not be wise. So, the challenge is to be authentic without overstepping the mark.

Honest feedback isn’t easy to deliver. Even in situations with minimal risk, individuals are reluctant to give feedback, according to Francesca Gino’s research at Harvard Business School. Those asked to give feedback tend to overestimate the personal negative consequences and underestimate the positive impact it could have on the recipient. This reluctance to speak becomes more acute in exit interviews, particularly for anyone who has had an unpleasant experience during their tenure. Here’s the dilemma: Do you openly share their criticisms and risk professional repercussions? Or do you opt for a more diplomatic approach, possibly missing the opportunity to deliver constructive criticism?

The answer is not straightforward. Exit meetings require that you maintain a delicate balance between candor and professionalism, according to Joe McBreen, an assistant superintendent of innovation in the education industry. “It’s about articulately expressing the reasons for your departure in a way that preserves relationships, not damages them,” he says.

What are exit interviews for?

Exit interviews can help both the organization and the individual to grow in their own ways.

For Joelle Monaco, a workforce strategist and founder of Joelle Monaco Consulting, they’re a conduit for open communication. “These interviews are a unique opportunity for organizations to learn from departures… [and to] foster an environment that thrives on continuous improvement,” she explains. Therefore, exit interviews are a strategic tool for understanding and shaping organizational culture.

For the employees, these interviews are a chance to review their time at the company. “Reflecting on one’s tenure, the learning, the challenges, and the unexplored opportunities during an exit interview can offer clarity and closure, setting a clear path for future endeavors,” Monaco says.

How to bow out gracefully and professionally

Yes, an exit interview can stir up anxieties: What if you say the wrong thing? What if you ruin a good relationship? But Monaco says the process not only helps departing employees to achieve closure but can help with their career goals and expectations as they transition to new opportunities. This closure can only come from an effective exit interview. So here’s how to make it work for you:

1 Be prepared

Monaco suggests allocating time for reflection before the interview. This preparation is about organizing your thoughts to convey key points effectively. PS, it’s better if you rehearse it too. Think of concrete examples you can give to illustrate any positive or negative points. This makes feedback more tangible and understandable. It shifts the focus from vague generalizations to specific instances, making it easier for the organization to grasp and address any issues.

2 Be honest – up to a point

This interview can present a unique opportunity to voice concerns or observations you didn’t mention previously. Just don’t go too far. There’s no need to say that your boss needs to take a shower more often. While giving honest feedback can contribute to meaningful organizational improvements, withholding such feedback might help safeguard your professional relationships. After all, no one wants to damage future references and professional relationships. You may also be limited in what you can say. “If you signed a non-disparagement clause, it prohibits individuals from making negative statements about the company, its employees, or its products,” explains Monaco.

3 Start out on a positive note

Start the interview with gratitude by “acknowledging opportunities you’ve had, the skills you’ve gained, and the positive relationships you’ve formed,” before transitioning to constructive criticism, says Monaco. Even then, it’s best not to be too pessimistic. “Don’t just outline every negative experience or become overly emotional,” says Monaco. Instead, focus on providing feedback to help the company understand areas for improvement. This is not a time for personal attacks, venting, or threats, explains McBreen. “And stay away from threatening legal action.”

4 Watch your language

A calm and measured tone, coupled with carefully chosen words, can significantly affect how feedback is received, especially if it includes criticism. Even non-verbal cues play a crucial role. Express observations and feelings without casting blame. For instance, saying “I noticed that…” instead of “You/He/She always…” helps keep the tone constructive rather than accusatory. Focus on experiences and perceptions, which are less confrontational and more likely to be received openly. “Refrain from blaming individuals or using negative language,” Monaco says. Focus instead on personal experiences and perceptions.

5 Align feedback with organizational goals

Monaco advises framing feedback in the context of the company’s objectives, mission, vision, or values. It’s about showing how the suggested improvements align with and can contribute to the company’s overall effectiveness. McBreen says, “Focus on how the company could improve for others, not personal blame [on individuals or teams],” he says. “Offer suggestions for improvement. . . [and] note [the] positives, too.”

6 Don’t overshare

Remember that this is not a gossiping session, and stay professional, especially when it involves the actions of others or your feelings about them. “Discussing sensitive information about colleagues without their consent may violate privacy laws,” says Monaco. Alternatively, discuss work-related matters while avoiding unnecessary personal details.

What you might be asked: standard exit interview questions

Articulating the reasons for your departure and discussing your overall experience helps you to close that chapter mentally. So, to assist you with your reflection in preparation for the discussion, both experts have listed common questions to expect during the interview:

1. Why are you leaving?
2. How would you rate/describe the company’s culture and leadership?
3. Did you have access to the resources, training, and tools needed to perform your job effectively?
4. Would you recommend the company to a friend or family member?
5. What are your thoughts on job satisfaction and growth?
6. Do you have any Ideas for better retention?
7. Do you have any suggestions for improvement?

Monaco says that exit interviews often provide a platform for sharing additional thoughts. “Typically, there’s the opportunity to share [anything that] was not addressed in the interview or survey.” This is your chance to offer any further constructive feedback you feel is essential.

A fond farewell

Exit interviews are more than just a formal farewell to an organization. These interviews can become emotionally charged, especially when discussing negative experiences. But they also present a unique chance to give constructive feedback that can shape the organization’s future if you share insights and experiences in a way that fosters understanding and improvement. Ultimately, an exit interview, when navigated thoughtfully, provides closure, allowing you to move forward with a clear perspective and a sense of completion. So why not make the best of it?

Photo: Thomas Decamps for Welcome to the Jungle

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