Quiz: Are you an angel or a devil in the office?

Sipping your morning coffee on a weekend away, you get a flashback. You can see it clearly: When the coffee beans ran out after your second cup of joe at work last week, you didn’t take the time to refill the office machine. Then, a little voice reminds you of all the underhanded things you’ve done to your coworkers—some by accident, some by design—just to make your life easier.

As your work life flashes before your eyes, you wonder: What if minor things like this have made your coworkers hate you? What do they say about you? Are you an angel or a devil? It’s time to tally up your score and (maybe) make some resolutions for the new work year.

• Have you ever cleaned the office coffee machine, even when no one was watching? Your unselfishness impresses us. +1 point.
• Every Monday, when asked how you’re doing, you respond glumly, “It’s Monday.” -3 points for your weariness.
• You spot a coworker in the street. The urge to avoid eye contact and slip past them is strong, but your good manners win out. You give a polite smile. +1 point for sociability.
• Do you complain about rush hour traffic in the office? -1 point. Stop treating your coworkers like they are traffic cops. They can’t do anything about the situation.
• Do you say, “I’ll get back to you,” but never do? That’s -2 points.
• Have you ever cc’d your coworkers on an email “in case it might interest them?” You know very well it will rot in their inboxes, taking up precious storage space and clogging up data centers. Have you no ecological conscience? -2 points.
• Have you ever left the window seat in your open-plan hot-desking office for your colleague because you know it’s their favorite? +1 point, who says office romance is dead?
• Do you hate Slack and make sure everyone knows it? Okay, Boomer, -1 point.
• Do you believe the phrase, “today’s students are tomorrow’s talent,” describes the office interns? +3 points, if only there were more like you.
• Do you ask, “How was your weekend?” only so you can brag about yours? -1 point, no one wants to know the details of your weekend getaway or why you’re so tan.
• You send a quick work email during a meeting. +1 point, your involvement in the big project is an inspiration, but still, -2 points for not being attentive.
• You’re organizing a team to advocate for a 4-day workweek in your company. +3 points, consider applying at Welcome to the Jungle!
• You throw a tantrum and go to HR when the coffee machine stops working. Not only is this bad form, but you’re barking up the wrong tree. -2 points.
• You protest against excessive AC in the office by wearing shorts—despite the company’s strict dress code. +2 points, not all heroes wear capes.
• You share individual success stories during your annual review on behalf of the team. How unselfish! +2 points.
• While negotiating your salary, you lie and inflate your previous paycheck. -1 point for this dubious move.
• You add a flaming heart emoji when your team members post on Slack. +3 karma points.
• After lunch out with an intern, you pretend to have an urgent meeting and sneak away, leaving them to foot the bill (and prove their commitment to the job); congratulations, you’re on the road to hell. -5 points.
• At a coworker’s leaving party, you give him a kiss during the thank-yous—even though you didn’t put a dime toward his gift. Okay, so you found out about the group gift at the same time as your soon-to-be ex-coworker, and everyone is financially strapped, but still, -1 point.
• You hesitated less than two seconds before emailing a coworker on vacation, probably on a beach in Florida. Even though you wrote in the subject line: “Read when you return,” you lose 2 points.
• In meetings, you’re the discussion moderator and take it upon yourself to stop a male coworker when he tries to mansplain her own job to a female on the team. +5 points.
• You use too much jargon. No one wants to hear another “synergy” or “let’s circle back to this” around the office. -2 points.
• You encourage your coworkers before a stressful presentation and congratulate them afterward. Your halo is shining. +2 points.
• At happy hour drinks with your colleagues, you paid for three cocktails for your tipsy co-worker who couldn’t remember his PIN. You also had the courtesy not to remind him of his shenanigans the next day. +3 points for your voluntary amnesia.
• It’s time for the verdict—but before reading the results, remember that awareness is the first step to changing behavior. Maybe you’ll want to share this quiz with your favorite office frenemies, too.

If you scored:

Above 10 points: You’re the patron saint of any open-plan office. Everyone wants a desk next to yours.

Below 10 points: You’re everyone’s nightmare. Even chef celebrity Gordon Ramsay would ask you for tips on how to be this insufferable.

Less than zero points: Consider a career in Hollywood. You have a better chance of being cast as a villain in the next blockbuster than being Employee of the Month.

Photo: Welcome to the Jungle

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