Struggling at work? Here are 3 steps to rebuilding your self-esteem

What’s one personality trait that’s often overlooked in the workplace? While confidence, determination, and intelligence tend to take center stage, self-esteem quietly influences how we perceive ourselves—and how we perform.

At work, we’re often focused on how others perceive us, from how capable our manager thinks we are to whether or not our coworkers find us funny. Sometimes we can forget how important our opinion of ourselves is, and when self-esteem falls by the wayside, so can our mental health and work-life balance.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem affects more than just confidence, as research has found a positive relationship between self-esteem and productivity, meaning that when we have a higher opinion of ourselves, we perform better as well. So, what happens when something shakes our confidence and makes us feel insecure? More importantly, what are some concrete steps to get your groove back after your ego takes a hit?

Whether you’ve made a mistake on an important project, had a bad performance review, are struggling with burnout, or simply aren’t feeling your best, there are simple steps you can take to get back on track and rebuild your self-esteem. Let’s take a look at the three R’s on our mental health checklist: reflect, recharge, and refocus.

Step 1: Reflect

If you’ve noticed a change in your mood lately, it could be due to low self-esteem. If you find yourself feeling insecure at work or struggling with imposter syndrome, it could mean that your confidence is running low. Before you can turn things around, you need to understand how to identify the source of your insecurities, take a step back, and look at things from a new angle. So, where should you start?

Identify challenges

The first step in rebuilding self-esteem is pinpointing the cause of your insecurity. While it can be uncomfortable, research shows that self-awareness is crucial for mental health and improvement. Reflect on when you first noticed your confidence dip—was it triggered by a negative event like missed deadlines or feedback, or is it a longstanding struggle? Look at concrete parts of your routine. Has your workload increased? Are external stressors affecting your mindset? Recognizing these challenges is the first step to rebuilding confidence.

Look at your accomplishments

It can be easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others, and that’s guaranteed to make you question your own success. If you’re feeling like you aren’t where you want to be in your career, try making a list of your accomplishments. Revisit old resumes and cover letters to reflect on the skills, projects, and positive feedback you’ve collected over time. Looking back on your growth helps shift focus from what you lack to what you’ve achieved. Remember, your past successes are stepping stones to future accomplishments.

Expand your scope

If you’ve taken a hard look at your professional life and still can’t pinpoint what’s hurting your self-esteem, it’s time to expand your scope. Life is about much more than what happens in the office, and it’s not unusual for aspects of your personal life to have an impact on your work. Evaluate relationships and life circumstances—are conflicts or unmet milestones weighing on you? Personal challenges often seep into professional spaces, so addressing them can help restore balance. Similarly, take stock of personal accomplishments like meaningful relationships or hobbies, which are proven to have a positive impact on mental health. These joys remind us we’re more than our job titles.

Step 2: Recharge

Once you’ve identified the challenges that are bringing down your self-esteem, you might want to jump into fixing things straight away. However, if you don’t take the time you need to regain some emotional stability and build up your confidence, it’s going to be harder to make changes in your outlook and performance.

Practice kindness

Treat yourself as you would a close friend. Start with positive self-talk. Try standing in front of a mirror and giving yourself compliments. It may be uncomfortable at first but don’t give up. Make it a challenge to list as many things about yourself that you like as possible, and go beyond the physical. If you make an effort to list more than 10 things, you’ll probably find things that make you feel confident that you’ve never noticed before. When you want to move on from that, switch to listing things you feel grateful for. This can help you shift your perspective from focusing on the things you don’t have to the things that you do.

Prioritize self-care

Beyond changing the way you perceive yourself, it’s important to understand the effect that our environment has on us. When working on anything related to your mental health, a holistic approach will take you far. Integrate activities that make you happy and give yourself permission to rest. Rest may feel indulgent when you’re struggling, but it’s proven to boost self-esteem and optimism. So, treat yourself to a spa day or take a week off from going to the gym. Whatever recharges your batteries should be prioritized just as much as work.

Take a break

If work is the source of your insecurity, and you don’t feel prepared to hit the gas just yet, there is nothing wrong with taking a step back to center yourself and recharge. Take your PTO and enjoy a week or two completely disconnected from work. Do what you need to focus on yourself and reset, whether that means a holiday abroad or curling up with a book at home. If you’re struggling with burnout but don’t have vacation days at the moment, look into your company’s policy on sick days or mental health days. Don’t be afraid to communicate with your manager or HR representative to find a solution that works for both parties. Working from home for a week might be enough to regain focus and reduce stress.

Step 3: Refocus

After you’ve taken the necessary time to rest, recharge, and rebuild your self-esteem, the next step is to set yourself up for success when returning to your daily routine. If you don’t have a plan in place to monitor your self-image and course correct when needed, you may find yourself down in the dumps again.

Build a support network

A key part of staying happy and healthy is having the support you need. Whether it’s friends, family, or colleagues, decide what relationships you need to focus on to maintain your positivity, and who you can lean on when you need a helping hand. Communication is key—don’t hesitate to ask for help. If your work performance was what you were struggling with, try speaking to your manager about the possibility of readjusting the way that you work. Maybe you need to attend fewer meetings to focus on deep work, or maybe you need more support and guidance from senior colleagues. For some, therapy can also be a key part of this network. If you continue to struggle with falling back into negative self-talk and insecurity, cognitive behavioral therapy is a unique approach where patients work with a therapist to examine their own thought patterns, break down destructive beliefs, and rebuild positive ways of thinking.

Set expectations & boundaries

Set realistic goals for yourself and clarify expectations with colleagues and managers. If you’re struggling with your workload, you can’t expect that everything will be magically sorted by the changes you make. Set realistic goals, aim for gradual improvement, and adapt as needed. You’ll also need to become more comfortable setting boundaries and saying no. According to the Mayo Clinic, setting boundaries is essential for safeguarding your mental health and forming sustainable professional relationships.

Form new habits

The last step is one of the most important because if you fall back into the way you were doing things before, you’ll likely end up back at square one, needing an ego boost. In order to maintain high self-esteem and set yourself up for success, you’ll need to build new habits and keep practicing the things you’ve been working on so far. While you may have heard a few different adages about how long it takes to form a new habit, recent research has found there is no magic number. Take things one day at a time and practice your new mindset until it becomes second nature.

Alongside keeping up these best practices, you’ll also need to focus on self-awareness. Hopefully, now that you know what was hurting your self-esteem, you can keep an eye out for similar situations or environments that might pose challenges, and be able to course-correct or give yourself some emotional wiggle room during difficult times. Above all, remember that when it comes to self-esteem, it’s the relationship you have with yourself that will make or break your confidence. Above all, remember: self-esteem is a journey. Embrace your growth, celebrate your wins, and trust in your ability to thrive.

Photo: Welcome to the Jungle

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